music picks from 2009

This blog post began as a piece designed to outline my top albums from the year that was. I began writing about David Bazan's great Curse Your Branches. I probably spent an hour, if not more, trying to summarize the album, as well as why the album, on a musical level, appealed to me. As I have written previously, writing lately has been an immense struggle. I type a few words. Review what I have written. Realize that the words fail to capture my feelings, my opinions. Hammer the back-space button and delete the words from the screen. Try again. Back space again. And again and again, until I have convinced myself that the entire exercise is a futile venture. But why?

While attempting to write about my 2009 music picks I realized something: I'm obfuscating the real reasons why I love these albums with bullshit music-critic jargon. My approach is wrong. And I'm not a music critic. Don't want to be. Granted, I'm a cynical bastard when it comes to art, but I'm not so cynical that I wish to criticize that which solely exists to express the emotions of its creator.

Humans are drawn to the things (i.e. other humans, art, experiences) that confirm their existence; even the things that may challenge our existence confirm who we are, because to challenge something is to first acknowledge its presence, its existence. I'm drawn to Bazan's Curse Your Branches because it's a record recorded by a man who was, at one point, confident in his religious convictions. Then doubt crept in. Anyone vaguely familiar with Bazan and his prior project, Pedro the Lion, know he's a man of religious faith. I tend to dismiss musicians who use their spirituality for songwriting fodder, but within Curse Your Branches is a man who sings about the dissonance between his modern-day self and the origins, or branches, of his spiritual self. Hearing a man at odds with his spirituality isn't compelling to the atheist, but there is a universal appeal about doubt. Curse Your Branches appeals to me because inside the well-written roots-rock songs is someone who has had a relationship with god, I'm guessing, since childhood, and I can certainly empathize with a man who has become disillusioned with a childhood relationship. Who hasn't, at some point during their lives, shared Bazan's sentiment when he sings in the album's title track, "All fallen leaves should curse their branches / For not letting them decide where they should fall / And not letting them refuse to fall at all."

Curse Your Branches is a great record (bookended by the wonderful "Hard to Be" and moving "In Stitches), and when you hear Bazan's resonant voice (which reminds me of Jeff Mangum's voice, in that, upon hearing his sound, you stop whatever it is you're doing and listen to the words soaring from his throat) you realize that to discount him and what he's singing about is an act of foolish defiance.

Immolate Yourself by the electronica duo Telefon Tel Aviv was another great release of 2009. Two words come to mind when describing this album: subterranean and mercurial. Much like Joy Division's epic Closer, Immolate Yourself is shrouded in an omnipresent darkness, and there's a pervading sense of paranoia throughout. While not a concept album per se, it's filled with the recurring theme of loss – and what hasn't been lost is quickly escaping to the realm of the irretrievable. This album is what early-'80s New Order would have sounded like if they'd been using 21^st-century music technology. The atmosphere of Immolate Yourself was dampened further one week after its release when the body of band member Charles Cooper was discovered in Chicago.

The late bloomer of 2009 was Beast Rest Forth Mouth by Bear in Heaven, which dropped in October. I love the feel of this record – it's carefree but not mindless music. Subtle synth lines wash over but don't engulf the songs, and Jon Philpot's distinct voice outlines the album with a fluorescent-like glow. Joe Stickney's lumbering yet light drumming pulsates each track with a tribal-like cadence. Beast Rest Forth Mouth is a refreshing – and fun – album. Just press play and take the ride. I can't wait to see these guys when they visit Bloomington this Friday.

I'm finished with this post. I'm not happy with it, but I'm publishing it anyway because I'm sick of writing. Fuck this.

xx