Everything you hear or read is hearsay. Always demand documentation.
The world's population is approximately 6,600,000,000. I am simply one person among the billions.
"Do not exceed the recommended dose. If overdose is suspected, contact your local poison control center or emergency room immediately." (Authorized personnel will promptly dispatch uniformed professionals in a flashing vehicle.)
Before signing legally binding documents always read the fine print.
"You may have already won $10,000,000.00!" (If it's too good to be true, it probably is; otherwise, strings are attached.)
The sun is hallow. It is filled with a million screaming infants, all blissfully oblivious of their existence.
When you speak you're repeating what you already know.
"Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects."
"IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS" (OR RUN LIKE HELL)
"FLAMMABLE Keep away from fire. Keep out of reach of children. Not for internal use. MADE IN USA"
Do not talk to strangers or actors portraying friends.
Lies and deceit have destroyed many a man.
"Exact change only. No change given."
"ROAD CLOSED AHEAD - FOLLOW DETOUR"
"Avoid Hell. Repent today. Trust Jesus."
"Take 1 tablet 3 times a day. If you miss a dose, use it as soon as you remember."
When speaking to another person, always maintain eye contact. Be wary of those who avoid eye contact; his or her movements should be scrutinized. Beware of suspicious body language (i.e. wandering eyes, nervous head and/or hand movements, crossed arms, restless legs, etc.).
The US Department of Justice reports 797,500 children were reported missing in a one-year period of time studied.
Everything you hear or read is chaos encoded into a conceivable language.
mc
28 February 2007
21 February 2007
pieced together
Last Wednesday marked my first Valentine's Day spent with someone special -- very special. As L and I approach our two month anniversary (I think "anniversary" is a rather grandiose term to use considering the length of time) I'm amazed she has chosen to remain by my side. I'm not a perfect man, far from it, and while I realize we all walk cracked and flawed, my blemishes seem to glint brighter and sting harsher, especially in interpersonal relationships. In light of this uncomely fact, L remains and we continue to grow closer. Her constant and steadfast presence has provided the one thing I've need for so long -- stability.
That very stability kept me together last weekend. L's best friend was married in Kentucky, and the experience was not an easy one for me. Leaving the safety of my cocoon, especially for a formal event filled with strangers, was not an easy choice, but I felt obligated and made the journey.
I purposely neglected to take my meds (I packed them but simply refused to take them) during the entire weekend. (My reason for doing so would require a separate post; perhaps a future entry).
The wedding was Saturday evening and Saturday night was a blur of assorted mixed alcoholic beverages -- too many beverages. With L riding shotgun and my new found comrade C in the back seat I left the reception scatterbrained. As I traversed freezing foreign roads my head buzzed with a million electric wasps, all of them scraping and screaming, determined to push my consciousness to the edge of some unbearable spine shattering reality.
Somehow I guided my ship back to home base.
"Tomorrow" seemed like a cruel illusion, a pristine fragment of suspended time that I wouldn't see alive.
Splintered memories like washed out photographs are all that remain from that night, but I vividly recall L by my side, preparing my bed for the night and caring for my alcohol saturated body. Her touch was a silent lullaby and precious sleep soon came.
I opened my eyes and it was Sunday morning, glorious Sunday morning. That unblemished fragment of time arrived and I had survived to see it. Breathe it. And L was by my side sleeping peacefully.
Stability.
My fingertips lightly brushed her cheek and my lips gently pecked her forehead.
Stability was by my side.
And even when she's out of reach and miles away, her face only a mirage glimmering in my mind, she is here, inside.
Stability.
Thank you, L.
mc
That very stability kept me together last weekend. L's best friend was married in Kentucky, and the experience was not an easy one for me. Leaving the safety of my cocoon, especially for a formal event filled with strangers, was not an easy choice, but I felt obligated and made the journey.
I purposely neglected to take my meds (I packed them but simply refused to take them) during the entire weekend. (My reason for doing so would require a separate post; perhaps a future entry).
The wedding was Saturday evening and Saturday night was a blur of assorted mixed alcoholic beverages -- too many beverages. With L riding shotgun and my new found comrade C in the back seat I left the reception scatterbrained. As I traversed freezing foreign roads my head buzzed with a million electric wasps, all of them scraping and screaming, determined to push my consciousness to the edge of some unbearable spine shattering reality.
Somehow I guided my ship back to home base.
"Tomorrow" seemed like a cruel illusion, a pristine fragment of suspended time that I wouldn't see alive.
Splintered memories like washed out photographs are all that remain from that night, but I vividly recall L by my side, preparing my bed for the night and caring for my alcohol saturated body. Her touch was a silent lullaby and precious sleep soon came.
I opened my eyes and it was Sunday morning, glorious Sunday morning. That unblemished fragment of time arrived and I had survived to see it. Breathe it. And L was by my side sleeping peacefully.
Stability.
My fingertips lightly brushed her cheek and my lips gently pecked her forehead.
Stability was by my side.
And even when she's out of reach and miles away, her face only a mirage glimmering in my mind, she is here, inside.
Stability.
Thank you, L.
mc
11 February 2007
weekend
L spent another weekend with me; she left a few hours ago. Whenever she leaves I'm filled with regret -- I take her presence for granted and don't treat her as well as I should. She tolerates my volatile personality, and I'm amazed by her patience and constant love -- I couldn't ask for more. I wish I could refine myself, smooth out the rough edges and become the man she deserves. Inside my head is a Hollywood/TV image of a loving boyfriend -- and I fall dreadfully short of this image. I realize this image doesn't truly exist, but I want to exceed all of her expectations and satisfy her every desire. Unfortunately my actions tend to belie my heart's intentions; I'm puzzled by this disconnection.
I finished the first draft of an untitled short story. I'm now in the process of making revisions and I'm also working on another story. Rummaging through a notebook of potential screenplay ideas recently, I realized that many of the sketches are better suited for short stories, not scripts. I use much imagery in my writings and it's hard to convey what I "see" in the form of a screenplay. I still hope to complete a screenplay someday, but at this moment my creative energy is pushing me in a different direction.
My head is whirling with many thoughts of multiple shades right now, too many to pinpoint and plaster with words. Tomorrow awaits.
Goodnight.
mc
I finished the first draft of an untitled short story. I'm now in the process of making revisions and I'm also working on another story. Rummaging through a notebook of potential screenplay ideas recently, I realized that many of the sketches are better suited for short stories, not scripts. I use much imagery in my writings and it's hard to convey what I "see" in the form of a screenplay. I still hope to complete a screenplay someday, but at this moment my creative energy is pushing me in a different direction.
My head is whirling with many thoughts of multiple shades right now, too many to pinpoint and plaster with words. Tomorrow awaits.
Goodnight.
mc
06 February 2007
finally
South-Central Indiana finally saw its first major snow fall today, approximately six inches.
Despite the single digit temperature I went outside at 9 PM to smoke a cigarette and sip on a Bad Elmer's Porter (a beer brewed by local brewery Upland Brewing Co.). The ethereal silence of a snow covered earth is one of those rare instances when one is reminded of what it is to be alive, when the tranquility of the vanishing moment is realized, and the uniqueness of existence tingles the spine. Or as Jeff Mangum once sang, "How strange it is to be anything at all."
mc
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