everything must go!

Lately I've been seriously contemplating selling my music gear to help alleviate some of the credit card debt that I've been carrying for far too long. Parting ways with that precious equipment would also force me to focus my free-time and energy on developing my first screenplay.
The desire to write a screenplay is far from a new fancy; I've always had a knack for writing and a love for film. At one point I thought I wanted to pursue film directing but after viewing The Making of Requiem for a Dream I learned that I lacked the patience to be the man in the chair calling all the shots. But I digress.
Am I really capable of selling the equipment that I've perversely enjoyed slaving over for the past few years? It was with this equipment that I produced and recorded my Chemistries for Conspiracy EP in 2002 (Jesus, has it been that long ago?). To spend countless hours compiling and distributing a CD that ultimately went nowhere was an eye-opening, and also disheartening, experience. I suppose when one completes a task of such monumental difficulty he or she doesn't expect to fail. If the idea of "failure" enters your delicate orbit you will go nowhere. Like Richard Lewis said regarding his early days in the comedy business: "Failing as a comedian never entered my mind. I was in a cocoon, living day to day without much thought about doing anything else, ever again." After all, a labor of love is an act of agonizing beauty that is ultimately done for no one but the artist himself.
Aside from completing several disjointed songs, I haven't been able to find the passion, desire or musical direction to dedicate myself to another collection of music since the completion of the EP. I guess I'm basically shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Okay, it's time to move on to something else."

Reading what I have written, the right, albeit painful, thing to do is sell my precious music gear. I won't be selling my trumpet or baritone so I'll still have two methods of expressing my madness musically.
I'm eager to read the reader's comments, especially the comments of the comrades who know me personally (and musically).

mc