today

Today I registered for classes for the upcoming spring semester, which begins 12 January 2009. I'm taking nine credit hours and I'll be working 35-40 hours per week; while this may be a busy schedule, I eagerly anticipate ending the status quo of pissing away countless hours and accomplishing nothing, and, instead, working toward something meaningful.

I must admit, however, that as my name and personal information entered another bureaucratic institution of numbers and protocols, that painful twinge of regret throbbed within me. Why? Why did you throw away an entire decade of your life? Ten years... gone. And very little to show for it.

For over half my life I have been my worst enemy, and I expect this story to continue as I enter the next phase of my life. Case in point: today marks one week since I began the bipolar medication, and I would be lying if I said I had not thought about tossing the pills and simply giving up on this illness, school -- everything. But I can't. I must maintain contact with my support system. I must maintain faith in myself -- and in others.

And I could go on, but I don't wish to wash this post in cliche emo musings so I'll end it



here.

xx

(I'm OK, people. Really.)

For a minute there / I lost myself, I lost myself