morning

This morning I woke up feeling tired, defeated and angry. Initially this post was going to be about the subject of my anger, but I've decided to let those harsh feelings subside. What's the point? If certain people choose to maintain friendships for charitable purposes then fuck them. I have my fair share of problems but sustaining token relationships isn't one of them.
I see Dr. F. tomorrow, and the appointment couldn't come soon enough. The bad feelings are returning. The desire to escape is strong, and the futility of every passing second is irrefutable.
I dread Thursday, Thanksgiving. Christ. I love my family but holidays are usually anything but enjoyable. When your parents are divorced you're faced with the agonizing mathematics of love and appreciation. "Okay, I'll spend four hours at mom's and then three hours a dad's. But wait, is four hours with mom too much? And what about three whole hours with dad? Christ." Hopefully there will be plenty of alcohol on hand. Booze tends to make family time easier to swallow, so to speak; however, I look forward to spending some time with sister and Austin, my nephew.

Christ.

mc