Upon hearing of my adverse side effects (slurred speech, memory distortion, confusion and unsteady walk) to Lithium, Dr. F instructed me to cease consumption. She did, however, tell me to continue taking Klonopin for my anxiety/paranoia.
Apparently an alternative treatment for my bi-polar disorder will be explored at my next appointment, one week from tomorrow. Earlier this evening I came home from work and for 10-15 minutes balled like a baby, sobbing uncontrollably; the fear was back and I wasn't sure what to do, wasn't sure what was around the corner... A soul curdling fear. Now, typing this, things are quiet and relatively peaceful.
As my condition progressively worsens, I'm beginning to consider some kind of hospitalization. The reality in my head the reality of "the real world" is becoming harder to discern. Hospitalization would be the last resort, and unless things improve dramatically -- and soon -- that could be my only refuge.
My sister gave birth to a bouncing baby boy yesterday. I should be elated. Proud. But that reality feels a million miles away. And I'm here, seemingly unaffected by it all -- and everything else.
mc (Thanks, M)
1 comment:
MC --
I haven't checked in here for a little while, and I'm sure I can't say much that hasn't been said before, but rest assured you're in my thoughts bro. I'd love to find a time to catch up (b-town or Indy) if you're up for company. We are having a get together at the house this Sat. the 18th, I'm not sure what your plans are but I really hope you can make it up. I'll be in touch.
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