a spark that resonates

I have found God and that's all I can really say. I don't think the words exist to accurately describe how I feel. And I'm not speaking specifically about how I feel at this very moment but how I feel and have felt every waking moment since the afternoon of March 29.
On that day, I was driving my regular route when I felt, not heard, something from within. While not a voice per se, it had shape, pronunciation and expressed sentiments of "It's safe here. It's clean. You are loved. There is nothing to hide so throw yourself in. Immerse yourself." Tears literally came to my eyes and I was awe struck.
A friend from many years ago once told me, "You'll know when God exists." I thought that was bullshit. Presumptuous. Nonsense.
I was wrong.
The person I was just two weeks ago, or a year ago, or 20 years ago is not the person I am now. My heart has been illuminated. I see God's presence everywhere. I feel it. And I never thought I would type those words -- and mean them.
I used to think that once you cross certain lines you can never return, you can never retrace your steps. My "faith" in atheism and nihilism was so strong I would equate it to learning the sum of two plus two. Two and two is four and that is fact. Irrefutable. How blind I was.
The odd, almost eerie thing about this new journey is how much of it remains unexplained. I wasn't expecting any of this to happen. It just happened. Nearly every aspect of my life is now different. Brighter. Lighter. Glorious.
I now find myself on a quest, a mission to absorb as much Judaic knowledge and wisdom as I possibly can. And I can't explain this. There is an unearthly connection that I feel to Judaism. It can't be explained but I feel it. It's weird. Reading the words, the history -- there is something mystical there. It's a feeling. It resonates. This feeling, this spark was lacking when I explored Islam and Christianity many years ago. I don't know...I can't explain it. It's as if, for 27 years, I had been living in the same house in the same neighborhood, unaware that just down the street and over a hill was a majestic field of unspeakable beauty, just waiting to be discovered.
Well, it has been revealed. And so has a reason. A purpose. And I am eternally grateful.

mc